A friend in NEED but not a Friend INDEED

Working for long hours all the months can be pressurizing at times and it can be more frustrating when one stays away from his hometown. Been in corporate sector one can expect that he will have to relocate often esp. in India where there are only a few states with industries and corporate offices. One big issue with living in such hi tech cities is that all of them have a different crowd and their own way of living which all immigrants have to get accustomed as early as possible. The reason I am saying this is that all of this can be very hard to handle and may lead to consumption of alcohol and cigarettes.

Staying away from home it is generally difficult for people to find a good company or even a friend who can act as a support as a result one has to resort to smoking and drinking at times just to socialize with people who are around or seclusion can be dangerous at times. This happened to lot of people around me. I have a habit of asking people as to why they smoke and almost all of them had to REASON rather they had EXCUSES.  All of them had one sentence to offer me “do you have better option than this for a Saturday night” and to be very frank I did not have any thing. But when I started searching for alternatives to enjoy rather than drinking and smoking I found out that the cities in which we live (corporate cities) have only PUBS and BARS on the name of entertainment or one might go for a movie at most. Thus smoking and drinking becomes the favorite past times of those who want to relax but without realizing the Ill effects on health.

The government of many countries are coming forward and spending a lot of funds to help people who smoke and drink realize that it can cause serious health concerns, but I suppose that someone who drinks and smokes regularly knows that it is harm full for health, but now he cannot help it because he is addicted.  Rather than spending a fortune on advertisement and awareness the need of the hour is to establish REHABILITATION centers where people who wish to be cured and helped can enroll and help themselves, if funding allows people can be offered free service and helped rather than  just being informed.

Awareness is required but for the disciplined, others want help!!

STAY AWAY FROM THIS

Everyone I met in this small life of mine is somewhere very fascinated with one thing which they all love and are interest all time, irrespective how badly they deny it in public “criticizing others” I cannot make out from where do people get the free time and energy to waste on talking shit about people in school, offices and now days even families. Why do we care about what others are doing? Are we afraid of them? Do we take others as a threat? Or are we suffering from inferiority complex?

What I fear the most about these people is that they have the habit to change other people’s mind and thinking so fast and with so clean intentions that everyone will think that yes, the other person is WRONG. They can even coax your friends away from you with good score, your friends will also doubt you and your friendship.

Some where I have observed this too much and consider these people as a potential threat to me and all the people who consider me a friend. These are people who are JUDGMENTAL over small things in life and have half knowledge about everything which they consider to be complete.

Suggestion- stay away from people who make judgment on personality over an argument of an action, APNI AKAL LAGAO, make your own opinion and cherish it. And if you are one those who makes judgments, please take a break, make judgments but don’t impose them on others. You might fall in your own trap.

Bossaholic

After getting into corporate life I learnt that there are basically 3 nightmares in an employee’s life; Cost cutting, monotonous work and most feared is the boss. I have been observing for months that BOSS is the one who no one likes, irrespective of him being good or bad or neutral. People have developed a habit of cribbing about their bosses among friends and colleagues. What wrong has the creature done to the employees that they hate him so much?

Bosses are there to control all the activities in the office as well as keep the employees satisfied, I guess they are able to take control of the office activities but they are surely not able to satisfy everyone in the team. Some employees are unhappy because they are not able to take long vacations even though they have spared leaves, some are unhappy because the boss is not promoting the work they do, some are unhappy because nothing good is happening to them (I was also surprise to hear that from someone). People have made it a habit to criticize their bosses if things are not going their way but they don’t understand the situation can be even worse if their boss actually becomes the devil they think he is.

If he is not giving you leaves it’s not because he doesn't want to you to enjoy a vacation it is because the company policy is such that he cannot allow a certain number of people be absent from the team at a single day, who would manage the work ? Who will meet the deadlines? Who will look after the troublesome client who always wants his work done on time? And trust me he is not doing this for his personal grudges with any one of us, he makes you work hard because he is paid to get work done from his team and in the process to make sure that he achieves it, he has to  put work first then employees. So it is not the boss who is evil, it is the work who makes the boss evil.

I strongly believe that making a good relation and being genuine with your boss works wonders, discussing your problems and your approach towards that problem helps your boss to understand you in a better way as a result one can develop healthy relations with every BOSS. Let’s start looking at him from a good prospective.

Every leader no matter how strong he is wants the love of his team, whether he accepts it or not

The Image DRAMA

A good Image is what all of us want today, that is why we invest so much on clothing, personality development and all other grooming options available to us. Anything at all which makes us look different from the crowd. All these activities are done to make a superior or a unique image of one in front of others.

Why do we make an image about someone in our mind??? Why is it worth?? The reason is because we are in constant searching mode for someone who can be our friend who can be a good company in an outing one and most importantly one who can be trusted. So the image is a report card. Thus maintaining a good report card is important. There are 2 ways by which you can present your image among your peers. One can choose to project something about himself or he can be himself and let others project what he is.

The projected image is formed when one according to the environment showcase certain qualities which he may not possess, this helps him to be the star of the group and thus people start expecting the same skills from him more often. The problem here is that if you fake, it might be suicidal. Because your peers have already made a good image about you in their mind, they trust you and they desperately want you to live up to their expectation. But if you don’t the entire trust and affection which you got will be lost PERMANENTLY. Because what you did by faking your action is that you triggered an interest in the minds of people who are not like you and might not get along good with you, but as you stimulated it with your actions they are attracted and would want you to reciprocate. And responding to their expectations every time is not possible for you because you are not the same person as you showcased. But ironically speaking if you can fake and be a good at it, you sure can gain a lot of momentum.

On the other hand being yourself and not doing anything just to impress others is when people take time to formulate an image about you. This is a long term process but for sure it is a permanent thing. When you try to be yourself and your activities are not an outcome for influencing someone then your start respecting your individuality and appreciate yourself and most importantly you respect everyone around you and would not like to plague it with people who do not respect you and themselves.

 When you try not to impress everyone, you impress the right one.

P.S. there is no moral or learning in this one, but for sure, I would want people to pay some extra attention on image they showcase.

UPGRADE

While studying in school our syllabus use to change regularly, there was always a constant need to change and add certain activities in the school curriculum, Because change is constant in the outside world and it demands us to change with it. Similarly in the corporate lifestyle one needs to adapt and respect the environment, upgrade with it, as well as maintain the skill set which he currently posses.

Why would we change our wardrobe with new fashion? Simple, because we want to be updated with our friends and social circle and Fashion trends is one thing which makes you look cool among them. Similarly, how equip are you with the work environment and new technologies in the market makes you cool among employers and increase your chances in corporate world.

Upgrading becomes all the more important because most of our work is related to technology, which changes very fast. Even the developers of technology compete between themselves to upgrade to new and better methods before their competitors. From businesses to education hubs we can see change is only constant and permanent thing around us. Most of us just want a new opportunity or a new challenge in work but we forget to do our homework and upgrade our self to take on that opportunity. Taking lessons from the environment we as employees, are we upgrading with the work environment, or are we letting our current work make us a passive worker, which will someday make us loose our employ ability? 

In my opinion one should take knowledge from where ever it comes, if free, should pound on it and grasp as much as possible. Because a few years down the line, Information and knowledge would be the best business and one would pay a fortune to get it.

This is how you  kiss success, So ARE YOU UPGRADED?

Knowledge has to be improved, challenged, and increased constantly, or it vanishes-.Peter F. Drucker

MISSING SOMETHING

Every one of us is a diamond and we posses certain talents and skills which can make us shine even better. But do we take that move, is the point of worry because most of us do not. I intend to talk about the talents which are possessed by us and should be respected but are we doing justice to it?

It is worth thinking WHY do we posses the talent and skill, what is the science and mystery behind it? Why is that I can do a certain activity in a better and effortless way than any of my friend? Why do we not run after our desired goals and succumb to society and their way of living?

I do not blame anyone but the education system for this, although the system is good but it has missed one very basic and critical subject called the talent realization and pursuit. Or education system gives importance to the entire subject line but it has no respect for the unique ability which the child possesses.

Understanding your talent is half a part which most of us do today, some of us know about our talents, we know what we are good at but practicing it is not which most of us do and is a crucial thing which is skipped. All my friends (including me) talk about making a difference to the world and changing the system, but it cannot be done my playing temple run or chatting on Blackberry one needs to break the comfort zone and start doing.

Most of us today are not satisfied and happy with our profession and think if I would have a second chance then I would try pursuit my talent. We study science, law, management with an ultimate goal of earning, the better and expensive the course the better the returns after getting a degree but are we doing justice to our talents? I suppose most of us are not even doing justice to the degrees which we have earned by studying management or law or science.  If every degree or course which we do is to earn better income in future then why not learn and train in what we are good at and have interest and inclination. This would reduce work related frustration, restore work and professional life balance and increase productivity. Working towards our talents and the kind of occupation we always wanted to take would give us all the happiness and desires which we would never be able to achieve even after studying the elite degrees.

BEING WOMEN

There are some unique occurrences which happen to an Indian woman and she has been showing courage to fight them again and again. There are 3 phases which brings about the most prominent changes in a women’s life and they categorized as-child, adulthood and marriage.

As a woman’s age increase her societal burdens also increases and it keeps on increasing till the point where she only fulfills expectations of the society rather than her own desires.

The journey of a female fetus starts with some bad experiences; people try to kill her even before she is born. If she makes out and takes birth she is welcomed with sorrow and unhappiness as she will only eat and will not earn for the family unlike a male who earns bread when he grows up, still she gives smiles to her mother after being born. She is not allowed to attend classes and carry on with her education; she cannot even get education which is her right but still she draws her mom and dad in the school. As she attains adulthood, she has to sacrifice her desires and follow the rules formulated by society, she is not allowed to work at night, she cannot wear cloths of her own choice, she cannot have male friends and more over she cannot talk loud in public.

Marriage is the biggest sacrifice which a woman makes in her life, all her desires, likings and disliking are gone in a day and she now has a master who would control her for the rest of her life and she is expected to obey him, intruding her birth right of being free. After marriage even a small mistake makes her a bad omen for the family and she has to live with that curse. While her pregnancy people warn her of giving birth to a female child, but still she smiles and her motherhood flourishes.

Since the geneses a women struggles and takes on every possible beating from the society and smile. She moves forward and makes everyone happy who comes in her motherly contact. She has the capacity to study and beat the brightest of the male child, to be a bread earner for the family, to run ahead to MEN and beat them in their own ground. But still she remains calm and takes pride in delivering mankind the biggest gift of god, giving birth to you and me.

It is a salute to all the women, who have struggled and taken every challenge of the society to show them HUM KISI SE KAAM NAHI..!!

YOU CAME YOU FOUGHT AND YOU CONQUERED

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY.